The Fetishization of Gay Men by Straight Women

The perpetrators of the phenomena of fetishizing gay men seem to be mainly straight women.  They become overly invested in male/male romances, both real and fictional. They over sexualize and fetishize their relationships, and treat them like objects. Quite frankly, the treat them the same way many straight men treat women. They paint them as characters for their own enjoyment instead of real human beings, or well-rounded fictional characters. These are also the same women who “Just LOOOOVE gay men!!!” They see them as an experience and often infantilize their relationships.

Many straight women write m/m novels and fan-fiction. These characters tend to be the embodiment of a stereotype, and don’t got through much character development. Unless you count going from saying, “YASS” to “YASS KWEEN!!” as development. Their writing also has no experience behind it. The coming out stories are incredibly inaccurate, feel very uninformed, and are again seen as “super cute.” The struggles queer men face are often erased, and replaced with yet another sex scene.

The stories these women write are not for queer men, they are for self-satisfaction and other women who also enjoy fetishizing queer men. This is not what being an ally is. Allies don’t create uninformed, falsified queer media for their own enjoyment. Being an ally also isn’t an identity, you don’t get to become a part of the community for simply not being homophobic. Appropriating queer culture and then producing uninformed work for a profit is a huge slap in the face to people who are actually a part of the community. Perpetuating stereotypes and writing stories you have no authority to write does not help the LGBTQIA+ community at all.

Gay men are often stereotyped to be feminine, and so society lumps them into the same group as women. They’re seen as “just one of the girls,” and are there to compliment straight women and make them feel better about themselves. Gay men are not women, and yet the characters that straight women write and label as “gay men” are often portrayed as if they are a straight woman. Queer stories are vital to the progression of our community, but these stories aren’t the right ones. Sometimes as an ally it’s better to do nothing at all, if the opposite action is appropriation and fetishization. LGBTQIA+ people deserve authentic and diverse stories written by people who understand them and their struggles, which is something a straight woman could never do.

 

*** Obviously there are straight women in the LGBTQIA+ community, but I’m specifically talking about straight women who do not identify as being LGBTQIA+ at all (aren’t trans, asexual, aromantic, or any other queer romantic identity, etc.)***

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Pride Month TBR

Something I haven’t talked much on my blog about is how much I love reading. LGBTQIA+ books especially have a special place in my heart, so that’s why for Pride I’m reading only queer books in the month of June. Some of these books may have more queer representation than I’m aware of since I haven’t read them yet! This month I’m planning to read…

  1. Little & Lion By: Brandy Colbert

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What is it about?: In Little and Lion, the main character Suzette just came home from boarding school, and is being reacquainted with her family and friends. Shortly before she went to school, her brother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Suzette begins to have a crush on a girl that her brother Lionel is in love with, but the girl is detrimental to Lionel’s mental health.

How is it LGBTQIA+?: The main character Suzette is queer (the blurb doesn’t specify a more specific identity.) Multiple other secondary characters are lesbians.

2. Ash By: Malinda Lo

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What is it about?: Ash is a fantasy novel that is a retelling of Cinderella. Instead of a prince, Ash falls in love with Kaisa, the King’s Huntress.

How is it LGBTQIA+?: Ash and Kaisa are lesbians

3. The Swan Riders By: Erin Bow

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What is it about?: This is the second book in the Scorpion Rules duology. The Swan Riders is a science fiction book, whose main character Greta was a hostage in a futuristic world, where every country designates a hostage that is a related to the ruler of their country, and if their country starts a war then the hostage is killed. I don’t want to spoil the first book, so I’m going to keep it pretty vague. Greta is going on a cross country journey with the leader of the United Nations, who set up the hostage system. I really enjoyed the first book is this duology, soI’m really excited for this sequel!

How is it LGBTQIA+?: Greta is queer, most likely bisexual, but that isn’t explicitly stated. Other secondary characters are also queer / possibly bisexual.

4. Almost Like Being in Love By: Steve Kluger

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What is it about?: Two boys fall in love their senior year of high school, but they separate when they go to college. Twenty years later, Travis realizes the thing missing from his life is Craig, and he begins to try to get back in touch with him.

How is it LGBTQIA+?: The main characters are gay men.

5. Tales of the Lavender Menace By: Karla Jay

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What is it about?: Tales of the Lavender Menace is about the group of radical lesbian feminists in the 1970’s, who protested the exclusion of lesbians and their struggles from the feminist movement. The author was a member of the group, and wrote this book as a memoir.

How is it LGBTQIA+?: All about lesbian history!

 

I’m super excited to read exclusively queer books this month! Although who am I kidding, I mostly read queer books every month. Are you reading any books with LGBTQIA+ rep in them currently?

Happy Pride!

Pride Month 2018

June is LGBTQIA+ pride month, and just like last year, all of my posts this month will be LGBTQIA+ related!

Pride Month is a time to celebrate being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, remember the history of our civil rights movements and celebrate our accomplishments, as well as organizing to continue to fight for the rights of LGBTQIA+ people everywhere. Many cities hold their pride parade this month as well as other events, but some places, like where I live, hold their events at different times throughout the year. Either way, June is a great time to celebrate being LGBTQIA+ and have fun!

I have a lot of ideas about the posts I’m going to do this month, but I’d love to hear what you want to see from me! I’m really excited for this month, and all the festivities that come along with it.

Happy Pride Everyone!