On Friday I took the leap and moved into my apartment!
We had brought almost all of my stuff on the 18th, so I packed up my truck with the few things I had left and drove myself to my University. I’m not gonna lie, driving away from my parents and home was so hard. Luckily for me the drive is about 45 minutes to an hour, so it wasn’t too bad. I know I’m really close, but right now it feels super far.
I’ve barely been here and I miss home so much. Since I’m a transfer student there wasn’t all the events that new freshman have. They did have a few, but I would have had to leave on Monday to be a part of them, and I wasn’t ready to leave then. I’m spent most of my time putting together the last few pieces of my apartment, but I’m feeling super lonely. I know this will get better and is just a normal part of leaving, but boy does it hurt. I’m so close with my parents, especially because of all my health issues. I’ve been so isolated for the past six plus years that I truly have no one else besides my family. Dealing with not having friends is tough, but this is the most lonely I’ve ever felt.
For now I’m just trying to keep myself busy. My problem is that I can only exert myself so much before I feel sick and have to lay down, but when I lay down I’m less distracted from my sadness. I’ve been forcing myself to keep doing stuff even when I feel bad because at least I feel a little more distracted from being sad. I’m sure when classes start this will get better though since I’ll have a lot more to occupy my time with. Class starts Monday so logically I know it’s really soon and things will feel better then, but in this moment time is passing incredibly slowly.
I have a roommate but we’ve barely been spoken to one another. I’m hoping we can get to know each other a little more this weekend, and that things improve on that end.
I know I made the right decision to leave home and try to attend college at a University, but home sickness makes you question everything. Seriously, no one tells you it will be this hard. Let me know if you have any tips for leaving home for the first time!
I have two siblings, one brother and one sister, both older.
As of recently I have now watched them both leave for college, and have experienced the being the much dreaded left behind younger sibling. Both experiences felt different for me, but it’s always tough to watch your siblings move on in life without you.
My sister went to college when I was starting eighth grade. Her last two years of high school she took on a lot of responsibilities and was really busy, so I didn’t see her a whole lot. I was also really sick and spent most of my time in my room, so that contributed to the situation as well. My sister and I are polar opposites and butt heads growing up; the five year age gap also didn’t help. When she left I was sad because I knew life would never be the same, but it wasn’t particularly devastating since we didn’t spend much time together anyway. It was hard to watch her move on, but it was more jealousy than grief. Now that she’s gone we have a much closer relationship and communicate with each other more than we ever have.
My older brother left for college mid August and this time things were different. He did two years at community college and lived at home, so we didn’t have the typical send off after high school was over. There were points in the past six months that I didn’t think he’d even try to apply to a university, let alone get in and decide to actually go. When the time came for him to move out it felt surreal. Now I was going to be the only child in my house. I spend the majority of my time alone and now that time will be even longer since he’s not around.
There’s a million selfish reasons why I didn’t want him to leave, but there’s also some concerns fueled by love. He’s a type one diabetic and the thought of him going so low he passes out and no one finding him or him not taking care of himself is nauseating. I may be his younger sister but I want to protect him and make sure he’s safe.
People often think of parents having a hard time when their children go off to college, but siblings can have a hard time too. Living with siblings verses just living with your parents is very different, and is a hard change to make. For me it’s also hard to watch my siblings move on, because I question if I will ever be able to do the things they’ve gotten to do due to my health.
I know so many people (especially people who only have one sibling who’s older) who had a really hard time watching their siblings go to college. It’s definitely a huge change for the whole family, and can be a rough transition. If your older siblings are leaving for college soon or just recently left, know that it will be hard in the begining but after a while a new normal sets in.