Liar Sprite: Chronically Misunderstood

For some reason anesthesia makes me a bit agitated and generally put out with anyone and everything. This specific incident took place after my second colonoscopy/endoscopy and for some reason I decided that filters weren’t needed and I definitely wasn’t gonna use mine.

When I first came to consciousness there was part of a popsicle in my mouth and I was very confused. Apparently I had said I wanted it, but I don’t remember any of that. My dad was holding the stick and the first thing I said was “What are you doing? Why would you do that?” in an accusatory tone. It’s a good thing I have nice parents who just smiled and then jokingly made fun of me later. They’ve put up with a lot from post-procedure Alyssa, and she isn’t always very nice.

Later the nurse asked me if I wanted any Sprite to take some medication with and in a fog I said yes. She came back with Shasta Twist which was completely unacceptable to drugged up me. I turned to my parents and said, “oh so all they have is lair Sprite? I don’t want this liar Sprite.” Apparently anesthesia also makes me high maintenance. I was deeply offended that someone would try to pass off brand soda onto me like it was the real deal.

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The clean out for a colonoscopy is enough to make anyone on edge, but add medication and an already sarcastic attitude and well the outcome isn’t always very pretty. I think it’s really funny that I said those things because I never act like that, and I can’t believe that off-brand soda offended me. Who knew I was such a brat when it came to Sprite?

Lots of Love,

and Sprite 😉

Alyssa

 

 

 

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Yes I’m in the Room: Chronically Misunderstood

For a while now I’ve been trying to come up with some sort of title for a series of stories that have to do with misunderstandings, awkward moments, and chronic illness. This is the best title my brain can come up with for now: Chronically Misunderstood

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Yes I’m in the Room:

First off you’re gonna need to know a bit of the back-story. In the seventh grade (2012) I had my gallbladder and appendix removed. The healing process was long and my pain only got worse from there. I had some complications and vomited bile, all day, everyday or over a week. It was the beginning of missing a lot of school and church, because I felt awful.

This incident happened at a church I used to attend but left a little over a year ago. We spent a total of around six years there and I’ve mentioned before that it had a lot of problems. At this point we had been there for around three years and were pretty engaged. It was a huge church, and it became very easy to slip through the cracks.

One day at the end of Sunday school the main teacher makes an announcement. She tells the class that I had been sick, had surgery, and had been in the hospital. She then proceeds to ask the class to donate items for a care package for me. Now this was a nice gesture and the woman who had the idea was very kind, but there was just one problem. I was in the room.

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She obviously didn’t know what I looked like or who I was, because I was there. Mortified and wishing I wasn’t, but I was there. Someone told her afterwords that I was in the room and she came up to me and told me how happy she was that I was doing better. She completely ignored how awkward the situation was.

The room was full of around 5o kids who were in my grade, plus all the other teachers. Everyone who knew me or at least knew who I was turned and looked at me as she spoke about “how sad” my situation was. My friends couldn’t stop laughing and I was just siting there unsure of how to respond. AHHHHH!

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Now I think it’s hilarious, and I hope you found it funny too. The funniest part to me is that they never “took up items” for me. All that and nothing came from it. I definitely didn’t want anything and didn’t expect anything, but I found it kinda odd to make such a scene and then do nothing. Oh well, all you can do is laugh!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa