Intolerance in the LGBTQIA+ Community

In a perfect world the LGBTQ+ community would be all sunshine and rainbows and acceptance, but sometimes it isn’t.

There’s a big problem with racism within the community, specifically with gay men. Having “no asians” or “no black people” on their Grindr profiles. When confronted most of them say, “well it’s just a preference.” A preference is liking strawberry jelly over grape jelly or liking tennis shoes over sandals, not segregating an entire race and labeling them as “undateable.”

Biphobia and transphobia are also another problem, mainly amongst cis-white-gays. They believe that people use the label bisexual as a stepping stone to being gay and just haven’t accepted that they’re gay yet. Transphobic queer people sometimes use the term “LGB” instead of LGBT, in order to excluded trans people from the community.

My main question for people in the community who behave like this is, why? Why discriminate against someone who belongs to the same minority group as you? We’re all going to face our fair share of bigotry from the outside world so why be bigoted to one another? We should be supporting and uplifting one another, not tearing each other down. If you don’t like someone else erasing your identity, then don’t do it someone else. You aren’t them, you don’t know how they feel. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

The worst thing we can do as a community is not support one another. How can you expect love and support from people outside the LGBTQ+ community, if you don’t love and support others in the community yourself? I think we all have a responsibility to call out this behavior and set an example for others by treating one another with tolerance and respect.

The White Savior Complex

Everyone knows what “The White Savior Complex” is whether they’ve heard it in those terms or not.

The White Savior Complex happens when white people “help” others, usually POC, and act like they’ve saved these people from “terrible, miserable lives.” Without the white savior these people would be nothing in the “savior’s” eyes, and would have sad lives. A prime example is seeing a picture of a white teenage girl on Facebook surrounded by children usually in South America or Africa with a caption talking about how sad their lives are. Because without her five days of white guidance these people couldn’t possibly survive.

There’s a difference between actually helping people because you want them to have a better life, and “helping” because you want to feel good about yourself. Religious groups that do mission trips that last a few days to a few weeks are often are filled with these kinds of people. They’re so narcissistic that they think others would be lost without them. The White Savior also rarely listens to the people they think they’re helping, doing things like trying to “liberate” muslim women who wear hijab who are perfectly happy and don’t need or want any “help.”

The White Savior is always about having an emotional experience for themselves. Talking about how life changing speaking to a homeless person is, and using the one time they went to a soup kitchen on their college resume. Their volunteering is based in personal gain, rather than how they can be of service to others.

While mission trips and volunteering can be and often are good things, we need to examine our motives and attitude towards helping others. Getting involved somewhere that you can volunteer long term is always best! I also think we should call out the White Savior complex and call it was it is: racism.

 

What are your experiences with the white savior complex? What do you think about it?

 

 

P.S. Sorry to the guy in my header, I’m sure you’re a nice dude, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I laughed for far too long looking at the photo in this context

The Truth About Texas

Texas is the butt of many jokes, specifically about how conservative it is.

While it may be a red state, Texas isn’t always the hell it’s been made out to be.

I’ve lived half my life in South Texas – San Antonio, and the other half in North Texas – Dallas. I’ve always lived in the suburbs so my experience stems from that. Cities like Dallas, Austin, and Houston are all incredibly progressive and you’ll find more democrats than republicans there. San Antonio is a little different. There’s a heavy catholic influence so people tend to lean more conservative, but there re still more progressive people in the city than other places in Texas.

The high school I went to was predominately white, but also had a sizable asian population. While there was the occasional super republican kid who spit out all the bigoted phases they heard at home, most people were pretty chill. I came out to a few of my friends at the time, and while they were shocked, it wasn’t a big deal. There were LGBTQ+ kids who were out and dating and most people didn’t care or at least didn’t care enough to say anything.

You will see protesters outside planned parenthood or standing on an overpass with their open carried guns, but those kind of people are everywhere. Even in the most liberal areas in the US there are still conservative people. I think most people would be surprised how many progressive and moderate people live here.

My narrative may be different from someone who grew up in a small town. The small town conservative mentality reaches much farther than the South though. Being LGBTQ+ in Texas isn’t always the death sentence its made out to be. While I would never want to erase the struggles of people who have experienced abuse for being LGBT in Texas, I think it’s important for people to know that isn’t everyones narrative. There are happy LGBTQ+ people who live in the South and people who come from religious families who have positive coming out stories.

Do I daydream about living in San Fransisco where most people identify with being LGBTQIA+in some way or another? Yes of course, but for now i’m pretty happy right where I am. I want to see the Texas legislature be reformed and more sane people go into power. These past few weeks a lot of bigoted laws have been put into place, and that has to change. I don’t think running to leave Texas the first chance I get is going to help anyone, and for now I want to stick around and do my part to make Texas a place where everyone is respected and receives the equity they deserve.

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

The Illusion of Health

From commercials to diet magazines and even health class in high school we’re taught that if you eat right and exercise you’ll be healthy.

But what happens when that isn’t true?

The illusion of health is the illusion of control. Living in a world where anything can happen in the blink of an eye is scary and not something most people want to think about. When you’re the one who’s chronically ill though, you don’t get that luxury.

I was twelve when my chronic illnesses started. I spent every evening after school outside and rode my bike all over my neighborhood with my friends everyday. I was active and ate pretty well for a twelve year old. Sick is not synonymous with unhealthy. It’s easy for able-bodied people to point fingers and tell us we’re not doing enough when in reality we’re working harder than them to keep our bodies alive.

I think a lot of ableism stems from fear. Who wants to be reminded that they could one day be the ill one? Instead of seeing us as people we’re seen as some sort of pathetic life lesson or worse inspiration porn. That’s when the “what ifs” come into play. “What if you went gluten-free? What if you tried yoga? Have you seen a specialist? Maybe you should lose/gain weight.” While it’s incredibly insulting, I think all these “suggestions” come from the same fear but with added narcism. People like to believe that if they were the sick one, they could do something about it. They could “heal” themselves because they would try harder. We’re just not trying hard enough, we just don’t want it enough.

A man at my church who was an avid body builder dropped dead a few months ago. He had a heart attack in the gym. “But he was so healthy,” everyone said. Being physically fit does not mean you are exempt from health problems. Tragically he wasn’t “healthy” on the inside and never knew.

Sure diet and exercise can help prevent some health issues that are specifically related to obesity, but at the same time a lot of those issues have a genetic component or are a symptom of a pre-existing condition. Take Type 2 Diabetes for example; The stereotype is that someone with Type 2 Diabetes is over weight and consumes way too many carbs. While this may be true for some people, for others it’s genetic or a symptom of another health issue like PCOS. The same goes for high blood pressure. The stigma around these conditions is so large that we often shame the person for having these conditions instead of helping them.

Giving your body everything it needs in order to be healthy is important, but it doesn’t mean you automatically get a clean bill of health. Diet culture gives us a false sense of control. Humans are not indestructible and doctors don’t have all the answers. It’s not a fun topic but the idea that you have complete control over your body and your health is quite frankly ignorant.

But ignorance is bliss, right?