Ragged Doll

I am a ragged doll

Dropped in the mud too many times

Beaten, broken, and stained

 

I am a ragged doll

Cast aside

Sprawled out in the bottom of the toy chest

Bending beneath the weight of better newer toys

 

Toys that haven’t been stained

Haven’t been dropped in the mud

Haven’t been broken

 

I spend my nights awake

Wondering if someone will ever want this ragged doll

This ragged, broken doll

 

Some days I appear to be new

My porcelain skin has yet to start crazing

When I shatter will you still pick me over the other toys?

 

I’d want a shiny new doll if I were you

These stains are off putting

And these chips are more trouble than they’re worth

 

In a sea of shiny toys

Who would pick this ragged doll

This ragged, broken doll

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Attack

Sometimes I write poetry when I’m feeling overwhelmed and I decided to share some today. I really like reading other peoples poetry, so I hope you enjoy mine.

 

Attack

I am tired
Tired of pain
Tired of “cures”
Tired of being a “head scratcher”

No amount of water or exercise is going to cure me
and in five years do you honestly believe i haven’t tried?

I don’t want to be hesitant on good days
I don’t want to question when my next flare will be
I don’t want to live my life in fear

I’m more scared of the future than excited
I just want to go to sleep
Because my nightmare goes on while I’m awake

But then some days it isn’t bad
Some weeks it isn’t bad
Some months it isn’t that bad

I crawl out of my dark hole to see the sun
I think it’s over
But the beast has other plans

She comes back with a vengeance
Making up for lost time
Putting me in my place

How dare i believe i could live a normal life?
That’s too much to ask for

But then she takes her hand from my throat once again
Giving me hope that she’ll leave me be
But i know her games

I see her lurking in the corners
I see her darkness underneath the cracks
She’s still her, just waiting to attack