Liebster Award 2018

I want to say thank you so much to Alyssa from FightMSDaily,  and Jess from Daring to Jess for nominating me! Alyssa has an amazing blog where she talks about living with Multiple Sclerosis. I also love her name, but I may be a little bit biased. Jess has an incredible blog where she talks about lots of different topics, including many insightful posts about being a student.

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My answers to Alyssa’s Questions:

  1. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging in December of 2016, after I had dropped out of high school the month before. I was in a horrible flare, and was super sick, which left me feel very lonely especially since I had to leave school. I decided to start writing about my experience with chronic illness, as well as social justice issues that I found important. Starting this blog is one of the best decisions I’ve made. It’s helped me learn so much about the chronic illness experience, and I definitely feel way less lonely than I did back in 2016.

2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

The number one thing on my bucket list is to go to Thailand. It’s such a beautiful country and their culture is very different from American culture. They also have great food, and really cool markets!

3. What inspires you in life?

So many things! Resiliency is probably number one. The resiliency of so many people groups: ethnic minorities, disabled and chronically ill people, the LGBTQIA+ community, women, etc. is so inspiring. People in my church also really inspire me to live a life of service to others, and to constantly give.

4. What is your favorite color?

My favorite color is navy, but I’m also really into burgundy at the moment.

5. If you had a magic wand what are three things you would do?

First I would fix the U.S. government, for obvious reasons, second I would remove bigotry from the world (but hey doesn’t that tie into number one?), and third I would make healthcare free so people wouldn’t have to be in debt just to survive.

6. What did you want to be as a child?

When I was really little, I wanted to be a teacher, only because I wanted to decorate the bulletin boards. From around age 8 and up I wanted to be a doctor, and I still do!

7. What is your favorite animal?

Don’t get me wrong I love dogs, but I’m definitely a cat person!

8. What is your favorite part of blogging?

I love reading and responding to comments! Interacting with other bloggers is something I really enjoy.

9. If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your 10 year old self?

I would tell my ten year old self to be grateful for what she has, pretty soon things are going to be very different for her. I would also tell her that she’s stronger than she knows, and she can handle everything that’s about to happen.

10. Do you believe in karma and why?

I do not believe in karma. I believe there are consequences, good and bad, for every single one of your actions. I also believe good and bad things happen to everyone, regardless of what kind of person they are, because that’s just how life is.

Jess’s Questions:

  1. What is the most important song to you?

Rejoice by Julien Baker is by far the most important song to me. I had never cried while listening to a song, until I heard rejoice. I was feeling super depressed when I first heard it, and the lyrics really spoke to me.

2. What does a typical weekend in your life look like?

Most weekends I’m playing catch-up on homework, and trying to get ahead for next weeks work. I also go to church on Sundays, and then eat lunch out with my family which is always fun.

3. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

I would rather be twice as happy. I feel content with my level of intelligence, but I could use a little more happy in my life!

4. What are you excited about this year?

So many things! Mainly moving out and transferring colleges in the fall. I’m working on my college applications currently, which is both exciting and terrifying.

5. Who knows you best?

I can be a pretty guarded person, but my mom probably knows me best. She can tell when I don’t feel well (even when I’m faking “well”) and she always knows when something is wrong!

6. Unlimited love or unlimited money?

Unlimited love for sure. I think one of the most important things a person can do is to love and be loved.

7. What is the hardest barrier for you to overcome to write your blog?

Mainly just finding time and energy. After a long day at school, I come home to do home-work and then I’m basically useless due to sheer exhaustion.

8. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?

My parents dream is to live in this really trendy neighborhood in the major city we live near, so I would buy them a house there. We’re actually currently looking for a house, and we are in the process of putting our house on the market, but we definitely can’t afford that area.

9. What’s your favorite thing you bought in the past month?

I bought a pair of black oxfords that I’m in love with!

10. What is the nicest thing someone has said about you?

Recently when I was feeling really upset about applying to college as a disabled person, and not having as many things to put on my resume as I would have hoped (due to all my time and energy being taken up by being chronically ill) my mom told me , “You are not a liability. You are exceptionally strong and constantly persevere. You should be everyone’s first choice, and if you aren’t then they don’t deserve you.” It was so nice, and exactly what I needed to hear at the time!

11. Where’s your favorite place to be?

My favorite place to be is in the car at night, driving around a city while blasting music. The feeling cannot be duplicated doing anything else.

 

My nominees:

 

Rules for if you chose to accept the nomination:

• Write about it on your blog and thank the person who nominated you. Write about their blog too.
• Display the award on your blog.
• Nominate 5 or 10 blogs which you feel deserve it.
• Let the nominees know that you nominated them.
“Don’t forget to create 10 questions for them to answer. Notify your nominees and provide a link to your post so that they’ll know what to do.

Questions for my nominees!

  1. What is your favorite thing about the city/state/country you live in?
  2. How do you come up with ideas for new blog posts?
  3. What song means the most to you?
  4. What was your favorite game to play as a child?
  5. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about you?
  6. What is a social justice cause you are passionate about?
  7. Who is your favorite person to be around? and why?
  8. Have you ever travelled abroad?
  9. What are you excited about this year?
  10. Would you ever want to be famous?

 

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You’re So Brave

Everyone goes through crappy situations that they can’t control. Some people have had to deal with abuse, others parents getting divorced, and if you’re like me you’ve spent a decent portion of your life being chronically ill. People often tell me, “wow I could never do that”  in reference to my health problems. Honestly, six years ago I would have said the same thing.

I am not brave, nor a “warrior” because I am chronically ill. It’s a bad situation that cannot be fixed. How do I deal with it? I just do. There is no alternative, my only option is to deal with it. I do not feel like I need praise for simply living the life I was given. Humans can handle much more than we think we can. There are a lot of situations that I feel as if I could not handle, yet I know logically, if I was put into them I could make it through. (I also want to mention that some people cannot handle being chronically ill, and it truly is an issue in our community but I’m going to talk about that in another post)

Life isn’t easy a lot of the time, and chronic illness forces you to do a lot of persevering. Living my life as a disabled person does not make me brave, in and of itself. When people say this to me, I hear the under tone of, “You’re life seems so hard, I wouldn’t want to do it.” Sure, some aspects of my life are difficult and sad and sometimes even heartbreaking, but there are so many joyous and positive experiences to be had. Being able to live as a disabled person is a blessing in many ways, and has taught me so much about life and the human experience. I am not brave simply because I am disabled, I am brave because I dare to live a fulfilling life as a disabled person, when society tells me that is impossible.

No I Don’t Care That You Know Other Queer People

“By the way my coworker’s best friend’s sister is gay.”

“… oh, um that’s cool.”

This is a conversation that takes place constantly. If someone knows I’m gay, they always love to tell me when they meet other queer people; as if we’re unicorns. Don’t get me wrong, there are nothing but good intentions behind it, it’s just a little weird. Would you tell me if you met another woman, or some else who had blue eyes? Probably not.

This is different from the typical, “oh you’re gay, do you know my friend Sam, he’s gay too?” situation. People don’t think you know them, they just want to let you know they know other queer people. My older sister is the main culprit of this in my life. She lives in a major city, so of course she knows/is friends with/ runs into a lot of queer people, and she lets me know. Every. Single. Time. Maybe I’m a huge jerk for not caring, but honestly it’s just not that interesting to me. I consume a lot of queer media, so I constantly see other LGBTQIA+ people. Plus, I’m in college, so I see a decent amount of visibly queer people in my day to day life.

Being able to see visibly queer people is so so important, and I do get excited when I see other people people just living their normal lives. I feel a sense of familiarity and kinship with other people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Someone telling me about how their barista is gay though, isn’t really something I care to know. What is the correct response to “Oh! I was meaning to tell you my waiter the other day is gay.” ? Do you want me to jump up and down and beg you for more details? I usually go with, “that’s cool” or “oh wow” which both come out sounding incredibly unenthusiastic, no matter how much I try and pretend to care.

I never confront anyone about this, because I know they are just trying to be nice. It in no way makes me mad, or even annoyed, I just find it incredibly odd and kinda funny. Does this happen to you? If so, how do you respond? I feel like this definitely isn’t just something I deal with!