When Misogyny Kills

September 10th, 2017 Meredith Hight and seven of her friends were shot and killed in her home by her husband who she was divorcing. She filed for divorce back in July and hadn’t seen him much since. This past month he came to pick up some of his things while Meredith was home. He saw how happy she was and how much she was thriving without him, which led him to murdering her and her friends.

While this particular news story has layers of conflict and multiple issues going on, the thing that really stands out to me is how he decided to kill her after seeing how happy she was without him. It became obvious to him that Meredith didn’t need him, and in fact was doing better on her own and that enraged him.

How dare she live a fulfilling life without a man by her side?

How dare she stand up for herself and speak out against his abuse?

Domestic violence is not the only way the misogyny kills. Systematically our health care in America constantly mistreats and under-diagnoses women’s health issues and belittles them. Rape culture and toxic gender roles can be another way misogyny kills.

In a lot of these situations the combination of hyper-aggressive men, due to toxic masculinity and gender roles, and misogyny is what leads to the actual murder of women. The hyper-aggressive side leads to men feeling angry, entitled to women’s bodies, and makes them controlling as well as manipulative. The misogyny adds to the outrage when women don’t behave according to their standards, and reinforces the feelings of dominance.

Misogyny is not just an inconvenience or something “man hating women” made up.

Misogyny is real and it claims the lives of too many women.

 

Domestic Violence Help:

US: 1-800-799-7233

Canada: 1-877-336-2433

UK: 0808-2000-247

 

 

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My First Pride Experience 

This past weekend I went to Pride for the very first time!

On Saturday my sister and I went to the festival which consisted mostly of booths and they had a stage where different people performed. I got to see Alyssa Edwards ( a drag queen from Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 5) perform which was so cool! I’ve been wanting to see a drag performance for a while, but since I’m still a minor there aren’t any places near me that I could go to.

The festival was really fun, and it was cool to see a community of people being so unapologetic while living in a conservative state. We’re lucky that Dallas is one of the more progressive areas of Texas, but the state as a whole is still very conservative. Lots of great organizations like GLAAD, HRC, ACLU, and Equality Texas had booths, as well as some really cool queer owned companies!

Sunday was the parade, which is what I was most excited for. I was planning to just go with my sister, but last minute my parents decided they wanted to go too. To be completely honest I was a little apprehensive about having them come, because as open as they are, there are some things I thought they just wouldn’t understand. However, I was proved wrong and they had a great time!

It was SO hot on Sunday and right before the parade started I got really sick. My stomach began to hurt, my heart started racing, and I got that impending sense of doom that let me know I was going to pass out. Luckily there was a Walgreens just right there so I was able to stumble in and sit in the air conditioning for a few minutes, and got some Gatorade to try and bounce back. In around fifteen minutes I felt sooo much better and was able to enjoy the parade. It’s crazy how quickly things turn South for my body and how quickly they can bounce back!

Although a lot of the parade floats were catered more to gay and lesbian people, most of them celebrated the community as a whole. I saw a ton of trans pride stuff, and a decent amount of asexual pride stuff as well. Hopefully in the future Pride will become even more diverse, because everyone deserves to proud of who they are, especially when they aren’t one of the more well-known genders or sexualities.

I can’t wait to go to many more Pride events in the future. Next Pride I’ll be old enough to participate in a lot more, so that’s exciting. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a supportive family. Maybe next year I’ll even have a good friend group I can go with!

Did you go to Pride? What was your first Pride experience like?

 

Here’s To You – Reblog

I really enjoyed this post from ashelylillyblog as a response to everything going on with DACA. Immigrants make our country great, and we should be recognizing their contributions instead of condemning their origins.

[The American Dream is an illusion. We cannot pretend the United States was founded on dreams and morality. In fact, it was founded on murder, slavery, and theft of entire regions of land and valuable pieces of Native culture. It was founded on the oppression of people of color, women, and anyone who did not […]

via Here’s To You (a love letter to immigrants) — ashleylillyblog

Older Siblings Leaving for College

I have two siblings, one brother and one sister, both older.

As of recently I have now watched them both leave for college, and have experienced the  being the much dreaded left behind younger sibling. Both experiences felt different for me, but it’s always tough to watch your siblings move on in life without you.

My sister went to college when I was starting eighth grade. Her last two years of high school she took on a lot of responsibilities and was really busy, so I didn’t see her a whole lot. I was also really sick and spent most of my time in my room, so that contributed to the situation as well. My sister and I are polar opposites and butt heads growing up; the five year age gap also didn’t help. When she left I was sad because I knew life would never be the same, but it wasn’t particularly devastating since we didn’t spend much time together anyway. It was hard to watch her move on, but it was more jealousy than grief. Now that she’s gone we have a much closer relationship and communicate with each other more than we ever have.

My older brother left for college mid August and this time things were different. He did two years at community college and lived at home, so we didn’t have the typical send off after high school was over. There were points in the past six months that I didn’t think he’d even try to apply to a university, let alone get in and decide to actually go. When the time came for him to move out it felt surreal. Now I was going to be the only child in my house. I spend the majority of my time alone and now that time will be even longer since he’s not around.

There’s a million selfish reasons why I didn’t want him to leave, but there’s also some concerns fueled by love. He’s a type one diabetic and the thought of him going so low he passes out and no one finding him or him not taking care of himself is nauseating. I may be his younger sister but I want to protect him and make sure he’s safe.

People often think of parents having a hard time when their children go off to college, but siblings can have a hard time too. Living with siblings verses just living with your parents is very different, and is a hard change to make. For me it’s also hard to watch my siblings move on, because I question if I will ever be able to do the things they’ve gotten to do due to my health.

I know so many people (especially people who only have one sibling who’s older) who had a really hard time watching their siblings go to college. It’s definitely a huge change for the whole family, and can be a rough transition. If your older siblings are leaving for college soon or just recently left, know that it will be hard in the begining but after a while a new normal sets in.