This is the question always in my mind:
What’s next for my health?
Lately I’ve been doing really well. For the last three months I’ve felt better than I have in at least a year. This is great news, and something to celebrate, but my health has a specific pattern it likes to follow. Summer/early fall I do well, sometimes I’m doing great within this time, other times I’m doing just okay, but I’m able to function much more than when it’s bad. Early/Mid Fall things decline and by the time winter arrives things are really really bad.
I’m scared of the months to come. I’ve signed up for college classes, and I desperately want to do well in them and not be absent all the time. It’s not the pain I’m afraid of anymore, it’s what it takes away. I want to move on with my education and my life in general. I want to make friends and have an active social life. I just want to live a more normal life.
Last week I went to see the rheumatologist I saw back in April. She’s very kind, but she doesn’t think whatever’s going on with me is rheumatological, and doesn’t think there’s much she can do. I’m incredibly tired of having this conversation with doctor after doctor. I don’t seem to fall under anyones specialty, and no one wants to help. The rare few doctors who do want to help, like her and my GP, don’t know what else to do. Part of me doesn’t think anyone is ever going to be able to figure it out.
I’m trying really hard to “live in the moment,” and enjoy the time I have while I’m feeling well. It’s incredibly hard to do that though, when you know what’s to come. Honestly I would much rather feel terrible now and then feel better in the fall when classes start, but that would be too easy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful to have been feeling well these past three months, I know many people with chronic illnesses don’t get a few good days let alone months.
My rheumatologist and GP spoke and decided I should do some genetic testing. We’re doing it through 23&Me which makes me a little skeptical of its accuracy, but it won’t hurt to see of it gives us any decent information. I sent it off a few days ago, but it takes up to a month to process. Even if we don’t get nay good medical information, it will at least be interesting to see where I came from. Being white, I know it isn’t going to be every exciting, but it will still be interesting.
What’s going on in your life?
Have you/are you doing any new testing or starting a new treatment plan?
Lots of Love,