Intolerance in the LGBTQIA+ Community

In a perfect world the LGBTQ+ community would be all sunshine and rainbows and acceptance, but sometimes it isn’t.

There’s a big problem with racism within the community, specifically with gay men. Having “no asians” or “no black people” on their Grindr profiles. When confronted most of them say, “well it’s just a preference.” A preference is liking strawberry jelly over grape jelly or liking tennis shoes over sandals, not segregating an entire race and labeling them as “undateable.”

Biphobia and transphobia are also another problem, mainly amongst cis-white-gays. They believe that people use the label bisexual as a stepping stone to being gay and just haven’t accepted that they’re gay yet. Transphobic queer people sometimes use the term “LGB” instead of LGBT, in order to excluded trans people from the community.

My main question for people in the community who behave like this is, why? Why discriminate against someone who belongs to the same minority group as you? We’re all going to face our fair share of bigotry from the outside world so why be bigoted to one another? We should be supporting and uplifting one another, not tearing each other down. If you don’t like someone else erasing your identity, then don’t do it someone else. You aren’t them, you don’t know how they feel. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

The worst thing we can do as a community is not support one another. How can you expect love and support from people outside the LGBTQ+ community, if you don’t love and support others in the community yourself? I think we all have a responsibility to call out this behavior and set an example for others by treating one another with tolerance and respect.


15 thoughts on “Intolerance in the LGBTQIA+ Community

  1. I’m sure pure discrimination is a factor in some cases and that’s awful, but also, there is such a thing as people simply being attracted to a certain type. Is it necessarily wrong for someone to be more attracted to someone skinny over someone fat or vice versa? Is it necessarily wrong for someone to prefer brunettes over blonds or for someone to prefer someone who is tall or who is a certain race? I’m not so sure. Also, it may not be transphobia so much as it is, again, simply a preference. As a woman, who is attracted to women, I would have a hard time with someone who was trans especially if they haven’t had the surgery because I like vagina. That’s not me being transphobic. What you call biphobia is also kind of understandable to me, in that … If someone is attracted to both men and women, maybe people feel like they won’t be enough for that partner. If I was with a bisexual woman, I think I would wonder if she missed aspects of being with a man that I simply couldn’t give her. Would she ever be fully satisfied with just me and my lady parts? I’m not saying I feel that way. I’m saying I can see where people are coming from with that.


  2. I hate when any kind of group pushes another one down to feel empowered.
    I once tried to be in the community where I live, not just online, and was confronted with so much hate, I didn’t dare telling them I’m transgender, I let them believe I was a lesbian. Even amongst the lesbians there was this constant fight about who is the “most lesbian” and God the biphobia.. Talking about how disgusting it is to know a woman had sex with a guy even once, even if it was years and years back. Or after they had sex.
    It made me incredibly upset and angry, I’ve never felt THIS unsafe ever before.
    It’s a huge issue.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience. I see a lot of the “most gay” competition. People declaring themselves “gold stars” or “platinum gays.” It’s incredibly transphobic and biphobic. It’s sad when safe spaces are made unsafe by members of the same community.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was shocked when talking with a ‘friend’ from High School who is out now. I’m proud of her. We came from a VERY small town in South Carolina, that’s hard. As we talked bisexuality came up and she was adamant that there was not such thing. She said it was a way for people to sleep with whoever they wanted. She also said that many are just gay and denying it. I thought, if someone comes out that they are bi, I don’t think they are worried about the stigma of labels.
    When we lived in Palm Springs there was a lot of discrimination against heterosexuals. Palm Springs is predominately LGBTQ. We would go out and not be seated in a restaurant. I was not waited on at a dry cleaner. We would be made to feel uncomfortable. It was sad. My husband worked for a company where he was the only heterosexual person on the payroll, he worked on a computer program to help doctors and patients with HIV keep up with all that they do. We would NEVER discriminate. I just don’t get it. I never thought we would be hit with such discrimination from a group of people who are discriminated against so very much.
    Your post made me think. so it’s a very good post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Something that Lindsay said in the comment below is very true, the oppressed become the oppressor. My guess would be that since those people in Palm Springs have been oppressed by straight people for so long that when they can, they try to oppress straight people right back. It’s a crappy thing to do, and doesn’t help the past or present oppression they’ve dealt with but the little power trip makes them feel good. Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t make you a good person, there are bad people of every gender, sexuality, race, religion, class, etc.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it’s one of those things where….sometimes the oppressed become the oppressor because they need to feel like *someone* (anyone) is beneath them. The amount of racism and transphobia I see – particularly in the gay male community – is really horrifying. Even gay cis white men have a lot of white male privilege and some may not even see the issue in stating their “preference” in their Grindr profile, for example.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I completely agree that the oppressed often become the oppressor. It seems like this intolerance can be a power issue, where when someone feels their powers been taken away they try to take power away from some one else. It’s sad to see it happen, especially in marginalized communities.

      Liked by 2 people

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