Should Non-Binary People Identify as Gay?

It’s come to my attention that some people don’t think those who are non-binary should identify as gay or a lesbian because their gender doesn’t conform to traditional definitions of male and female, but I couldn’t disagree more.

Labels are a very personal thing and I don’t think we should tell one another how to label themselves. If someone who once identified as a lesbian now realizes they’re non-binary and feels like the gay/lesbian label invalidates their experience as someone who is non-binary, then by all means they should use another label. If they have taken comfort in a specific label and want to continue to use it, then they should. LGBTQ+ people have been challenging the ideas and traditional roles of gender since the beginning of time, especially lesbians. I saw something on Tumblr ( aka home of all lesbians) that I really agreed with, but unfortunately can’t find the post.

Essentially the idea was that lesbians have always challenged gender stereotypes and roles, even before there was language to describe the experience of being non-binary. Policing someone else’s identity and telling them what they can and cannot identify as is not okay and goes against Queer history and what many people have fought for. Not to mention it’s transphobic to try and keep non-binary people out of gay/lesbian spaces.

Everyone defines their sexuality differently. Even the “most common” sexualities are defined differently by different people. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you get to police other’s identities within the LGBTQ+ community. You don’t get to decide if they’re gay enough or not. We’ve all had someone question our identities at one point, so why do we do it to one another?

We should be lifting up one another, instead of trying to make sexuality an exclusive club.




8 thoughts on “Should Non-Binary People Identify as Gay?

  1. Exactly! I hate it when people start arguing about others sexuality. It’s literally none of their business. If someone chooses to not exactly label themselves, that’s cool, if someone says they’re gay while being non-binary, that’s cool. In the end it’s also about preferences, not always, of course, since you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but it’s a part of it.
    There’s no reason to argue about wether someone is gay or not. If the person says they are, then they are. If not, then not, even if you’d call them gay.
    All that hate within the community is getting on my nerves and even though I’ve never been very active in it, I avoid it in daily life (groups for example) only because there’s so much hate (where I live and what I’ve experienced)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In real life I’ve only experienced love and positivity, but online there’s a lot of hate, especially on Tumblr. I completely agree, what one person identifies as isn’t anyone else’s business. Hating on each other only tears us down instead of making us stronger.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tearing each other down is the opposite of what the community wants to achieve. They always act “all inclusive” yet they keep erasing others gender and sexuality as if they have the right to, just because they don’t think it’s real. I always say that if you don’t understand something even after trying to, then respect it. At least we can do that much

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve heard NB people say, for example, if they’re NB and only attracted to men, instead of gay or straight they just use “Androsexual”, which just means attracted to men/masculinity. I guess “Femmesexual” (I don’t know the real word for it) could be used to. But it is just based on preference.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve heard of androsexual as being attracted to men/masculinity and gynesexual as being attracted to women/femininity. I’ve also seen a lot of people argue that those terms are transphobic and describes people by their genitalia. Honestly I think it just depends on how you define it. Some people define gynesexual as attraction to people with vaginas and others define it as the attraction to femininity. Labels can be complicated and you can’t please everyone.

      Liked by 2 people

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