I Never Used to Cry

I wrote this when I was really sad one day.

I’m currently not feeling like this, but I like how it turned out so here it is!

I never used to cry

Tears were for the weak

And I was strong


This brick wall I’ve built has become increasingly more unstable

The cracks becoming more visible to the naked eye

The foundation in the beginning stages of crumbling


Tears sting my eyes more often than I’d admit

My wails are silent and unseen

Yet unescapable for me


The smile I paint on everyday isn’t turning out as well as it used to

People are questioning it’s authenticity

and I’m too exhausted to lie

Giving vague explanations, leaving something more to be desired


I deflect any questions you have

Giving the answers I know you want to hear

It flows from my lips with false confidence

And you buy it


Living in a sea of clear eyes and smiling faces

I feel as if I do not belong

My smile isn’t as bright as hers

and my eyes try to tell the truth, resisting every effort I make to fit in


I’ve taught myself how to sob without sound

My heart wretched as I lay in the shower

Confusing tears with the shower stream


I turn off the water and stare at the ceiling

Looking for answers that are never there

Too tired to move

Hoping if I close my eyes it’ll all go away


But I can’t escape it even in my dreams

or nightmares rather

The sadness infiltrates every aspect of my life

My eyes ready to release the truth

Ready to tell everyone how broken I feel

How broken I am


I never used to cry

But I wasn’t strong

I just created a charade I can no longer keep up


4 thoughts on “I Never Used to Cry

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