Getting Back into Things

For the past 3 1/2 weeks i’ve been going to the gym.

I gained a ton of weight on Gabapentin, like a lot. It’s hard to gauge exactly how much it is since before the rapid weight gain, I had rapid weight loss. Pre-chronic illness I weighted between 120-125 lbs, then I gained weight from meds and went up to 138 lbs, then I lost weight because of Cymbalta and Topiramate, down to 112 lbs, and finally I gained on the Gabapentin and Amitriptyline weight all the way up to 170 lbs. If you count the weight gain from when I lost a lot of weight then i’ve gained nearly 60 pounds, if you count it from before chronic illness it’s 45-50 lbs. Either way it’s a lot and needs to change.

For reference i’m 4’11 and 3/4 so being 170 pounds makes me over weight. I can deal with the weight gain, because I know I can lose it, but the stretch marks are distressing. I don’t have the silvery-white stretch marks that are barely noticeable. Since mine are “new” they’re bright red and everywhere. They’re the worst on my arms, but they cover my thighs, have crept onto my calves, cover the side of my stomach, and have popped up on the front of my stomach. I feel like a hypocrite because i believe everyone is beautiful and shouldn’t love themselves no matter what, but I honestly hate the way my body looks right now.

Right now I’m on an upswing with my health. I’m out of a flare and feeling pretty well. The biggest thing to celebrate is that I’m actually sleeping, so I don’t feel like a zombie all day. There’s no way I could go to the gym 5-6 days a week if I was still feeling so poorly, so for now I’m getting in all the exercise I can. I’m definitely not someone who loves going to the gym, it’s kinda boring and I don’t like working out around other people. Once you start to go regularly though you start to notice things.

For one, everyone is in their own bubble and doesn’t care what you’re doing. Also you’re probably not going to be the most out of shape person there. Sometimes super thin girls will get on an elliptical next to be and look half dead ten minutes in and by fifteen minutes they’re done. This is just one of a million reasons why weight doesn’t always correspond with health.

So far I’ve lost 4 pounds, which isn’t much but it’s better than nothing. I’ve been out of town for part of the time so I couldn’t go the gym, but for the most part i’ve been sticking to it. To me working out isn’t the hardest part, it’s eating healthy. When you feel terrible you don’t want to make something to eat. It’s easy to grab whatever’s available and takes no preparation. The problem with that is the things that take no prep are often processed foods, with little nutritional value.

Finding a diet that’s sustainable has been difficult. I really don’t want to put a ton of work into this now for it all to come back in a year or two. I’ve watched everyone in my family yo-yo with their weight so I know this isn’t going to be easy. I’m also currently taking another medication that can cause rapid weight gain, so I’m hoping I can go off of it soon since it doesn’t seem to be helping the tachycardia issue.

I’m counting on this getting easier the longer I do it. If you’ve lost weight/ started trying to live a healthier lifestyle, how did you stay motivated?

Lots of Love,





14 thoughts on “Getting Back into Things

  1. I too gained a lot of weight. Some from meds, some from fatigue and not being able to exercise, and some from food issues….I have fructose malabsorption.
    It has been difficult taking it off. A couple of years ago I found out about the fructose issue and started eatting very differently and I was already eating pretty well. I stayed motivated because I felt so much better.
    Drugs can make you feel hungry all the time and make you crave junk. It’s a no win situation.
    I lost 45 lbs just by changing my diet and moving a little more, not a lot.
    Then I stopped losing. Now 2 years later, I was put on a drug that helps you lose weight, and it has jump started my weight loss again. It’s inspiring. I don’t think I will put the weight back on, as long as I’m not put on some crazy med.
    Good luck. I get it.


    1. Wow good for you! I’m hoping the more time i’m off the meds some of it will come off on its own, but the diet and exercise should help a lot. I’ve never really tried to lose weight besides crash diets here and there so i’m not really sure what to expect from my body. I know my metabolism is probably shot from the extreme lack of activity, but i’m hoping I can repair it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. #ShortPeopleProblems (I’m 4’10” & 3/4!) I feel ya about the weight gain. Florinef used to make me SO bloated on top of gastroparesis and POTS bloating. Now without being able to exercise and, like you said, eating whatever’s available… I should really get my ass in gear, too. 😂 I’m glad you’re feeling a little better though! Hopefully it lasts 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think the biggest motivation is you’ll feel happier with your body. You’ll feel better, have more strength etc.
    It’s awesome that you took the step and went to the gym! Don’t worry about your hate for your body you’re struggling with, you just need to learn to love it all over again.
    Don’t forget that red stretch marks are Tiger stripes 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Alyssa! I also experienced weight gain because of Hashimoto’s disease. Literally a symptom is “unexplained weight gain” as if I need that lol. I hate the gym so I use a YouTube channel/ website called FitnessBlender, it’s free and I can do it from home. I also did the paleo diet for two months too. I think it helps that I really like fruit so those would serve as my snacks instead of cookies or ice cream. It’s hard but my biggest weakness is my sweet tooth so I just got rid of all the snacks in our house


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