Liar Sprite: Chronically Misunderstood

For some reason anesthesia makes me a bit agitated and generally put out with anyone and everything. This specific incident took place after my second colonoscopy/endoscopy and for some reason I decided that filters weren’t needed and I definitely wasn’t gonna use mine.

When I first came to consciousness there was part of a popsicle in my mouth and I was very confused. Apparently I had said I wanted it, but I don’t remember any of that. My dad was holding the stick and the first thing I said was “What are you doing? Why would you do that?” in an accusatory tone. It’s a good thing I have nice parents who just smiled and then jokingly made fun of me later. They’ve put up with a lot from post-procedure Alyssa, and she isn’t always very nice.

Later the nurse asked me if I wanted any Sprite to take some medication with and in a fog I said yes. She came back with Shasta Twist which was completely unacceptable to drugged up me. I turned to my parents and said, “oh so all they have is lair Sprite? I don’t want this liar Sprite.” Apparently anesthesia also makes me high maintenance. I was deeply offended that someone would try to pass off brand soda onto me like it was the real deal.

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The clean out for a colonoscopy is enough to make anyone on edge, but add medication and an already sarcastic attitude and well the outcome isn’t always very pretty. I think it’s really funny that I said those things because I never act like that, and I can’t believe that off-brand soda offended me. Who knew I was such a brat when it came to Sprite?

Lots of Love,

and Sprite 😉

Alyssa

 

 

 

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Why do we have to fight this stuff?

The laws Obama put in place to protect transgender kids were abolished yesterday.

It makes me so sad that we have to fight for trans people to use the restroom the corresponds with their gender. These laws were made to protect trans students, and the White House sent a very clear message that they are okay with putting these students lives in danger, because they don’t support trans rights. This is beyond ridiculous.

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These are the same people who make fun of safe spaces, and this is exactly why we need safe spaces! Kids shouldn’t be forced to use the wrong bathroom at school or to go by the wrong pronouns. They shouldn’t be afraid to change in the locker room or scared they might get attacked by a classmate. Abolishing these laws tells bullies what they’re doing is acceptable. 41% of transgender people will attempt to commit suicide in their lifetime; bullying and intolerance play a huge role in that statistic. Those statistics are even higher for ethnic minorities, those in poverty, and people who don’t finish high school.

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These kids need protection and love when going through the already difficult experience of middle school and high school. Why are we letting our government out an even bigger target on their back? When I was still going to high school there was a guy I knew who was trans and had gone to elementary school with me. I only knew he was trans because the news spread like wildfire. Everything from supportive comments to transphobic slurs filled the halls. For reference I went to a HUGE school, so it seemed weird that anyone cared, but this is Texas after all. Luckily my school let him use the boys locker room and bathroom, but people weren’t always very nice and he had to deal with the gossip and being misgendered daily.

I don’t have any great advice or solution to the issue, besides telling transphobic people to get their heads out of their asses, but I don’t think that’ll help. Continuing to support organizations that fight for LGBTQ+ rights like the Trevor Project, GLSEN, Trans Lifeline, and The Human Right’s Campaign is important. If you have someone who is transgender in your life let them know how much you love and support them. If you are trans know this cis gay girl may not be able to understand your struggles, but she loves you and supports you 100%!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

17 Going on 67

I haven’t been feeling great for the past two weeks or so.

I don’t think I’m in full flare mode yet, but my body just feels bad. I’m not having migraines, but I am having daily headaches and gastro issues. My tachycardia has been affecting me more than usual and making me really tired. I just feel old.

My joints hurt, and everything is exhausting. Weird things keep happening that aren’t a big deal, I just don’t normally experience them. My muscles have been twitching, my joint crack ridiculously loud every time I move, and a few times in the past week I’ve started shaking randomly. These things probably won’t last long, because my body is an asshole who likes to mess with me, but they’re annoying none the less. It’s been hard to explain, but something feels off. I’m not in a ton of pain, but I feel terrible and that’s not really something you can fix.

I went to my first appointment at a new counselor since the last one kept canceling on us. It was an “intake” appointment and she just asked me a bunch of questions. I feel like all I’m doing is complaining, but to be honest I didn’t really like her. She asked me a few questions in the beginning and my brain went blank. I couldn’t think, my heart starting racing even faster than normal, my whole body flushed, and I felt lightheaded. I was embarrassed and said, “I’m sorry my brains a little foggy today,” and she just gave me a look like I was crazy and said “oooooh kayyyy.” It felt really judgmental even if she didn’t mean it that way. She also said somethings that rubbed me the wrong way and tried to give me medical advice, which is so very annoying. I’m still going to try to have one real appointment with her and give her a chance, because there isn’t anyone in my area who wants to see a seventeen year old with chronic health issues.

I’m really hoping they’ll find something in my electrophysiology study next week, because this fatigue is awful. I’m normally pretty fatigued, but this a whole other ball game. I am grateful that I’ve only had a few episodes of extreme pain, but I’m fearful for the weeks to come. This time of year is normally really bad for me, so it’s been kind of weird that I’ve had less pain than normal. I’m trying my best to stay positive, although this post wasn’t very positive was it? Sometimes we all just need to rant.  I have a hard time finding a balance between my realist personality, inner cynic, and the positive person I know I should be trying to be.

How are you doing? Let me know what’s knew in your life or what’s been going on!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

Texas Anti-LGBTQ+ Laws

Texas is trying to put a series of anti-LGBTQ+ laws in place that are detrimental to the queer community.

The first one is a “bathroom bill” similar to one passed in  North Carolina. We fought North Carolina, and unfortunately have yet to win that battle. These so called “bathroom bills” are absolutely ridiculous and aren’t protecting anyone. They’re transphobic and only cause more problems. How do you tell someone who presents femininely and identifies as a woman to use the men’s restroom because she was assigned male at birth? That only puts her in danger, and criminalizes her gender. It doesn’t matter if the trans person “passes” or not, they have the right to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender.

Other legislation is being reviewed that lets teachers out students to their parents. This is so harmful! Suicide rates of LGBTQ+ are much higher than those of non-lgbt youth, and students who have unsupportive families only have an even high chance of self-harm and suicide. Many students don’t come out at home because they know it isn’t safe, but they are out as school and see it as a safe haven. Parents don’t get to know every piece of information about their children just because they are the parents. Some people are terrible parents and we should be protecting our  LGBTQ youth.

If you thought those were bad, just wait there’s more! They’re looking into making it legal to refuse service to someone based off their sexual orientation or gender identity and making it legal to refuse marriage licenses based off “religious beliefs.” That is complete and utter bullshit. You can’t break federal law because of religious beliefs. They already did this with Kim Davis and she ended up getting arrested, but with our mess of a government who knows what will happen.  I don’t believe being homophobic is a religious belief, but thats another topic for another time.

I’m hoping and praying that these things don’t pass, but I wouldn’t be surprised if at least a few of them did. Lots of celebrities are standing up against these laws, and I suspect if they pass they will pull their concerts and shows like they did in NC. South by South West is coming up and if people pull out, Texas could potentially lose millions of dollars.  Not only are these laws discriminatory and unconstitutional, but they are also bad for our economy.

Here’s a simple way you can help whether you’re a texan or not!

Go Here and Read the article

Scroll down to the bottom of my page and click on this to send an email to the Texas legislators to oppose these horrible, homophobic and transphobic laws!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

Poop Shoot: Chronically Misunderstood

Way back in the very  beginning of my medical journey I had my first ever CT scan. The pediatrician I saw thought I was having an appendicitis so I had a scan scheduled for that afternoon at the hospital in my town. Up until this point the only person in my family who had been there was my brother for a collar bone fracture, and the care wasn’t very good, so our hopes weren’t high, but we didn’t have any other choices that we knew of.

When I arrived for my appointment they have me two one-liter bottles of contrast to drink. It was thick like a smoothie while also being chalky. One was berry which I was fine with and the other was banana. I absolutely hate banana. It isn’t just a food I don’t care for, it’s my least favorite food and the smell alone makes me want to vomit. They didn’t have any more berry though, so I was going to have to suck it up. I had two hours to drink it all and I already wasn’t feeling well.

Needless to say the next two hours were awful.  I couldn’t finish the last half of the second bottle and when we went back so they could perform the CT and told the tech I couldn’t finish she said, “Oh that’s fine, one was probably enough.” Are you kidding? I dry heaved the whole time while forcing myself to drink this nasty paste and I didn’t even have to drink the second one? Ugh

Then comes the IV. This was the first time I had ever gotten one and I was terrified. They made my mom stay in the waiting room which didn’t make much sense because they hadn’t started using radiation yet. The same annoying tech stuck me three times and surprise, surprise didn’t get it.  She called in an ER nurse who got it… three times later. The whole time they searched for a vein she kept saying to me “all we’re gonna do is a take some pictures to look at your poop shoot.” I swear she said “poop shoot” like twelve times. Maybe she thought I was constipated, but there’s no way she could have known that from looking at me.  I may have been 12, but I was more than old enough to know and understand anatomical names for body parts.

Both during and after the scan she also mentioned my “poop shoot” again. Something about that phrase just weirds me out. People say some odd things to kids into to try to relate to them. If your curious I wasn’t constipated, at the time I had Mesenteric Adenitis which was super confusing and I’m still not sure how it all fits into this puzzle. I can’t help but laugh every time I think about a grown woman squawking “poop shoot” over an dover again. Who thinks of these things? 🙂

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

What Issues are LGBTQ+ Issues?

If you would have asked me this question a year ago I would have answered,

“Trans rights, LGBTQ+ friendly healthcare, marriage equality, anti-discrimintion laws, ect.”

All those things still stand true, but the Queer community also hits so many intersections that make many more issues “LGBTQ Issues.” All queer people aren’t white, middle class, abled, male, and cis… obviously right? This means the issues that affect ethnic minorities, women, the disabled and chronically ill, religions, those in poverty and the homeless, immigration, and many more are also LGBT issues.

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The LGBT community is made up of people from different backgrounds and we should support the issues that affect everyone in our community. If someone is queer and an issue affects them and other queer people, then it’s a queer issue. You can’t say you’re an ally or fight for queer rights if you don’t fight for all queer peoples rights.

When I strongly support a cause that “doesn’t seem to affect me” in other peoples eyes I remember this is something not a lot of people get. On top of my love for my fellow human beings and wanting nothing but peace and happiness for the world, I can recognize that almost all issues affect the LGBT community. I will not sit by idly while my community is harmed, directly or indirectly.

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With all the ugliness that is going on today, it’s hard to stay up to date on everything and know how to respond. I find myself feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how I can help. All I know is doing nothing is not an option. I will continue to do everything in my power that my health allows me to do to fight for my community and others who’s voice isn’t as loud as mine.

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

 

I Can’t Be a Drug Addict: Chronically Misunderstood

I have terrible veins.

They’re deep, tiny, and they roll.

On this particular occasion when I was getting my blood drawn the phlebotomist was terrible at her job. She stuck me four times, didn’t cover up the pokes afterward, and instead of cleaning up the blood she just made a bigger mess by wiping it all over my arm. The biggest no-no she did was stick me with the same needle twice. I watched her as she used the same needle, but for some reason I couldn’t get my mouth to protest.

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On her fourth try she looked up at me, grins, and says “you have terrible veins, you could never be a drug addict.” I just stared back at her in complete shock, while she looks at me with the same big grin. Who says that? Yeah it’s funny, but what an odd thing to say. Maybe she was trying to lighten the situation since she was doing such a horrible job? That’s all I can think of. I’m still confused why that would be the first thing she thought of. Was she a drug addict? If so, it’s not my place to judge it just seems like an odd train of thought.

Are you a hard stick? Has anyone ever said something really odd to you while drawing your blood? I feel like I meet a lot of weird people, but maybe I just remember them more than other people. Let’s just file this one under a funny experience.

Lots of Love (and no drugs?),

Alyssa