From the time I was eight I knew I wanted to go into medicine.
Then I got sick.
I’ve lost count of how many doctors I’ve seen, but a lot of my experiences have been bad, especially when I’m admitted to the hospital or in the ER. Going to countless doctors and not getting much help made me lose my passion for medicine. I never want to make other people feel the way some medical professionals have made me feel. And yes, I could be the one to do things differently, but I’m not so sure I want to.
Maybe part of this decision to not go into medicine, is because I’ve gotten older, or because my physical health could make a job where you’re on your feet all day extra exhausting. I also know that when I wanted to go into medicine I wanted to be a doctor, and that takes a long time and a lot of school to become. I have a huge respect for nurses, but their job just doesn’t sound appealing to me after watching so many of them through my own experiences.
When I was still going to school I took all the medical classes I could. I was in medical terminology, health science, anatomy and physiology, and psychology. I even took career portal into health science in middle school – I was dedicated. This fall should be my senior year of high school, but since I had to leave I’m getting my GED this semester, and taking classes at my local community college in the fall. Ironically I’m going from being behind my peers to being ahead of them, but this is the only way I can stay on track.
I’ve also seen lots of middle aged health care professionals who seem to hate their job. There are a lot of people who start out excited and wanting to make a difference, but they get worn down after time and no longer enjoy it. I don’t want to be the angry, bitter nurse who snaps at patients, or the doctor who doesn’t listen and just writes a prescription for pain killers. You never know if you’re seeing someone on a bad day, but I don’t want to make anyone else’s day worse, like some of them have done to me.
I’ve found a new passion and I know exactly what I want to do now, but part of me is sad that my life-long dream has just fizzled away. It’s hard to get excited about something when it hasn’t helped you. People change and grow over time, so maybe this is just me changing and growing. I’m honestly not sure. This is just one of many examples of how Chronic Illness really does affect every aspect of our lives.
Lots of Love,