Hypochondriac or Just Desperate

Sometimes I find myself going, “oh my gosh, I have that!” just like the little boy in The Switch.

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But I know I’m not actually a hypochondriac, I’m just desperate.

When you don’t have a good diagnosis and you’re chronically ill, you will grasp at straws to find an answer to your issues. Anytime I hear of a medical condition that I’m to familiar with I immediately google it. This could be it, it think, but most of the time it’s far fetched. Wendy from Picnic with Ants, told me I’m in “Dignosis Hell” and I have to agree. I had never used that term before, but I’m definitely going to now.

The list of things I’ve thought I might have in the past is long. From dysautonomia, to Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, to chronic Lyme disease, and the list goes on. The problem is these things do often match up with many of the symptoms I have, hundreds of diseases do, but when I’m tested for them, they always come back negative.

I just went to do more blood work, and it took two labs, and eight sticks to finally get what they needed. If I have to have chronic illness why couldn’t I have at least been blessed with good veins?Ā At this point it’s quite comical, and I normally attract a whole group of phlebotomist when they’re searching for a vein. I can usually tell within .2 sec of meeting them if they’re gonna get it or not. It’s a gift; maybe I’m a psychic šŸ˜‰

When I find myself going down a deep hole of research, I try to remind myself not to get my hopes up. Being optimistic is good, but you have to protect yourself and lower expectations. I no longer see a syndrome that has the symptoms I match up with, and think “I must have it; I have to have it.” Now I keep a mental note, or write it down (thanks brain fog), and try to remember to ask my doctors.

Do you ever see something and immediately think you have it? Or go down a rabbit hole of research when something matches up with your symptoms? Tell me your diagnosis story, if you have one!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

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2 thoughts on “Hypochondriac or Just Desperate

    1. I agree. I try not to jump to the conclusion that I have something when no tests have been run. I think self-diganosis is a tricky thing, and it’s best to bring up what you feel like you might have to a doctor.

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