There’s a Person Behind Your Politics

There is a person behind your politics,

or rather people.

Every decision you make and law you put into place affects the happiness, well-being, and prosperity of others. You can’t take the people out of politics and only think about policy, because every decision thats made affects someone else’s day to day life.

Reproductive rights, gun laws, immigration laws, LGBTQ+ rights, health care, all these things not only affect peoples happiness, but are also the difference between life and death. There is no other way to look at it in my eyes. This horrific “Muslim Ban” is tearing apart families, and will be the cause of death for many. The federal judge may have put a hold on this, but people are still being detained and treated like criminals. How can we turn our backs on our fellow human beings, cover their mouths, and let them suffer?

I’m tired of seeing white, middle class Americans having a “I got mine, but I don’t want anyone else to get there’s” mentality. Selfishness rules this country. Just take a look at the laws we put in place. We legalize weed, because people want to have the right to get high, but on other “progressive issues” the same people vote against them. People vote against marriage equality, and against reproductive rights. They want to give themselves the most rights, while restricting everyone else.

I think the problem with a lot of politicians is that they don’t think about the people they’re affecting. Immigrants and refugees are just another bullet point on a piece of paper to them. I’m happy to see so many people going out to airports to protest. Americans are riled up and angry as we should be. I will not stand behind anyone who would let another human being suffer due to their religion or ethnicity.

I believe you shouldn’t restrict others rights based off any beliefs you have. If you are anti-abortion, then don’t get an abortion, but don’t make it illegal for other people to have control over their bodies. If you’re against marriage equality, guess what, you don’t have to marry someone of the same gender, but don’t revoke the basic human right of marriage from another person.

Think about real human beings when you make decisions that will affect others lives. I want to live in a world where we treat one another with love, and compassion. I want to celebrate our different cultures, and the things that make us unique. If you’re an immigrant, practice Islam, or have family and friends in any of the countries that are now “banned” just know you are loved and wanted here.

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

Cardiac Electrophysiologist Update

Yesterday was my Electrophysiologist visit and it went quite well.

We waited for a bit, but once we got into a room the doctor was really quick. He had already reviewed the stress test, EKG, and echo from the cardiologist and had an action plan, which was refreshing. His plan was not one I expected though.

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The doctor said he could do another Hilter monitor but this time for 3-4 weeks, but didn’t think the information would be anymore helpful than the previous 24 hour one was. Instead he suggested an electrophysiology test. This is a procedure where they go through a vein in your inner-hip/groin area and go into your heart with a catheter. If there are any extra chambers, which is what they’re looking for, then they would a cardiac ablation.They also stimulate the heart to see how it responds. He isn’t expecting to see extra chambers, and thinks the final diagnosis is going to be Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. The doctor said “Inappropriate sinus tachycardia is frustrating, because it happens for no reason and you have to rule out other things to properly diagnose it.” Great, another annoying medical condition that doesn’t seem to really have a reason, I might as well collect them now.

Whatever it is, it’s going to be nice to get a definitive diagnosis about something. He said the scheduler should call before Monday afternoon, and the procedure will probably be done in the next 3-4 weeks. That’s really fast, and I’m surprised he thinks he’s going to be able to do it so soon. You normally have to wait 3-4 weeks at least to get a specialist appointment, let alone schedule a procedure.

Oddly I’m not nervous at all, which kinda weirds me out. Lately I’ve felt like everything that’s been happening isn’t actually happening to me. Like I’m watching a movie and someone else is going through all of this; it’s been weird. Even when I look in the mirror I don’t see myself, and I don’t mean that metaphorically. I’m almost surprised at my reflection every time, and I don’t think it’s just the sudden weight gain. When I look at pictures from a year ago when I was really thin, and had my long golden hair, (before I cut it all off and dyed it), I also don’t see me. I’m not really sure what I look like, and for someone who doesn’t have vision problems, I feel like thats an odd thing to say. Maybe I’ll get nervous when it’s planned or a few days before the procedure, but for now I feel kinda numb about it.

I’m happy we’re doing something about the tachycardia, because I honestly waited way too long to go see a cardiologist. The chronic pain had always been the most important thing in my eyes, so I put this on the back-burner. I’ve brought it up to plenty of doctors, but they’ve all shrugged it off and just said “that’s weird.”

So, here’s my update since for once there’s actually something to report instead of just medication changes. I hope you’re all doing well, and are feeling okay. I’d love to hear about what’s going on in your life!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

Update: The EPT is scheduled for 3/2/17. Longer than he said, but not too bad!

Six Days

We are six days into the nightmare that is a Tr*mp presidency.

Here’s some of what has happened:

  1. He began to repeal the ACA which will lead to an estimated 43,000 deaths annually
  2. He overturned the progress Obama made with the Standing Rock pipeline – in other words he doesn’t care about indigenous people or the basic human right of access to clean water
  3. Stated he is not going to release his tax returns
  4. Attacked the National Parks for their tweets and told them to stop tweeting – or censoring what he doesn’t want to hear
  5. Moved forward with his plan to build a wall between the US and Mexico

 

Unfortunately there’s been more and probably will be more before I even post this. My go-to emotion isn’t sadness, but I am sad, so very sad. I’m sad for myself, I’m sad for my family and neighbors, I’m sad for America. Currently I am not proud to be an American, and the terrible thing is, that statement offends more people than anything he has done so far as President or has said/done in the past.

I’m horrified at what our government has done in the days since the inauguration. On the other hand, I am extremely happy to see the response from some of our fellow Americans. The Women’s march was amazing to say the least, and so inspiring. So many celebrities are taking a stance and encouraging others to do the same. I wanted to go so bad, but I had a doctors appointment that took over a month to schedule so I couldn’t miss it. Even here in conservative Texas we had some large marches, which made me so happy. The march obviously wasn’t enough, but it was a good start. It’s okay to be upset, I know I am, but doing nothing is not okay.

You can go here to let your senators know that the secretary of education pick isn’t okay, because someone who has never been to public school and didn’t send her kids to public school, shouldn’t be in charge of our education system. You can call your senators and let them know on the phone or show up in person, which here in Texas, that is making Senator Ted Cruz very angry.

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If you’re scared, angry, or upset, so am I. He’s gonna do some bad things, I mean he’s already done some bad things, but the only response you can control is your own. Be kind and loving to other people. Stand up for not only your rights, but also those who’s voice isn’t as loud as yours. Giving up is not an option; stand strong!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

P.S. Here are some places you can donate to if you feel so inclined

Planned Parenthood

The Trevor Project

GLSEN

Standing Rock

ACLU

 

Yes I’m in the Room: Chronically Misunderstood

For a while now I’ve been trying to come up with some sort of title for a series of stories that have to do with misunderstandings, awkward moments, and chronic illness. This is the best title my brain can come up with for now: Chronically Misunderstood

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Yes I’m in the Room:

First off you’re gonna need to know a bit of the back-story. In the seventh grade (2012) I had my gallbladder and appendix removed. The healing process was long and my pain only got worse from there. I had some complications and vomited bile, all day, everyday or over a week. It was the beginning of missing a lot of school and church, because I felt awful.

This incident happened at a church I used to attend but left a little over a year ago. We spent a total of around six years there and I’ve mentioned before that it had a lot of problems. At this point we had been there for around three years and were pretty engaged. It was a huge church, and it became very easy to slip through the cracks.

One day at the end of Sunday school the main teacher makes an announcement. She tells the class that I had been sick, had surgery, and had been in the hospital. She then proceeds to ask the class to donate items for a care package for me. Now this was a nice gesture and the woman who had the idea was very kind, but there was just one problem. I was in the room.

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She obviously didn’t know what I looked like or who I was, because I was there. Mortified and wishing I wasn’t, but I was there. Someone told her afterwords that I was in the room and she came up to me and told me how happy she was that I was doing better. She completely ignored how awkward the situation was.

The room was full of around 5o kids who were in my grade, plus all the other teachers. Everyone who knew me or at least knew who I was turned and looked at me as she spoke about “how sad” my situation was. My friends couldn’t stop laughing and I was just siting there unsure of how to respond. AHHHHH!

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Now I think it’s hilarious, and I hope you found it funny too. The funniest part to me is that they never “took up items” for me. All that and nothing came from it. I definitely didn’t want anything and didn’t expect anything, but I found it kinda odd to make such a scene and then do nothing. Oh well, all you can do is laugh!

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

 

 

 

Chronic Illness and Career in Medicine

From the time I was eight I knew I wanted to go into medicine.

Then I got sick.

I’ve lost count of how many doctors I’ve seen, but a lot of my experiences have been bad, especially when I’m admitted to the hospital or in the ER. Going to countless doctors and not getting much help made me lose my passion for medicine. I never want to make other people feel the way some medical professionals have made me feel. And yes, I could be the one to do things differently, but I’m not so sure I want to.

Maybe part of this decision to not go into medicine,  is because I’ve gotten older, or because  my physical health could make a job where you’re on your feet all day extra exhausting. I also know that when I wanted to go into medicine I wanted to be a doctor, and that takes a long time and a lot of school to become. I have a huge respect for nurses, but their job just doesn’t sound appealing to me after watching so many of them through my own experiences.

When I was still going to school I took all the medical classes I could. I was in medical terminology, health science, anatomy and physiology, and psychology. I even took career portal into health science in middle school – I was dedicated. This fall should be my senior year of high school, but since I had to leave I’m getting my GED this semester, and taking classes at my local community college in the fall. Ironically I’m going from being behind my peers to being ahead of them, but this is the only way I can stay on track.

I’ve also seen lots of middle aged health care professionals who seem to hate their job. There are a lot of people who start out excited and wanting to make a difference, but they get worn down after time and no longer enjoy it. I don’t want to be the angry, bitter nurse who snaps at patients, or the doctor who doesn’t listen and just writes a prescription for pain killers. You never know if you’re seeing someone on a bad day, but I don’t want to make anyone else’s day worse, like some of them have done to me.

I’ve found a new passion and I know exactly what I want to do now, but part of me is sad that my life-long dream has just fizzled away. It’s hard to get excited about something when it hasn’t helped you. People change and grow over time, so maybe this is just me changing and growing. I’m honestly not sure. This is just one of many examples of how Chronic Illness really does affect every aspect of our lives.

Lots of Love,

Alyssa

Hope Amongst the Chaos

I have hope among the chaos.

The American people may have voted for racism, homophobia, sexism, xenophobia, transphobia, and general bigotry, but I still have hope.

I have  hope in those who have responded with civil disobedience, strength and love. I have faith in those who led protests, and marches, and used their voices to speak up against injustice. Together we are strong, but contrary to popular belief you can be strong on your own.

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You can live in a red state, in the south, or in conservative family and still hold your progressive values. You are allowed to speak up amongst family, friends, and peers to let them know their choices have consequences. Those people will never see their wrong-doings if no one points them out. Be kind, loving, and educate rather than reprimand.

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Giving up will not fix anything. This situation may make us feel like the end is near, but it’s only near if we don’t do anything. I will not give up. I will not stop being loud and opinionated. I will not stand by and let myself or my fellow human beings be assaulted with words or violence. Do something, anything, but I beg you please don’t stand still.

I have hope in God that he will lead me to the right opportunities and people to be able to make a difference and help others. I have hope that God will continue to love and accept all people, no matter how his followers respond to others in this world. I think we should look at this as a wake up call rather than a curse. I knew hate and bigotry was alive and well in America,but I had no idea just how many people would be driven by the irrational fear of people who are different from them.

In the words of Michelle Obama, “When they go low, we go high.” Respond to others with love, compassion, and respect. Stand up for yourself and others who are discriminated against. I’m not going to tell you everything is going to be okay or it isn’t going to be that bad, because I don’t know that and definitely wouldn’t assume that, but I still have hope.

Have hope amongst the chaos,

Alyssa

Attack

Sometimes I write poetry when I’m feeling overwhelmed and I decided to share some today. I really like reading other peoples poetry, so I hope you enjoy mine.

 

Attack

I am tired
Tired of pain
Tired of “cures”
Tired of being a “head scratcher”

No amount of water or exercise is going to cure me
and in five years do you honestly believe i haven’t tried?

I don’t want to be hesitant on good days
I don’t want to question when my next flare will be
I don’t want to live my life in fear

I’m more scared of the future than excited
I just want to go to sleep
Because my nightmare goes on while I’m awake

But then some days it isn’t bad
Some weeks it isn’t bad
Some months it isn’t that bad

I crawl out of my dark hole to see the sun
I think it’s over
But the beast has other plans

She comes back with a vengeance
Making up for lost time
Putting me in my place

How dare i believe i could live a normal life?
That’s too much to ask for

But then she takes her hand from my throat once again
Giving me hope that she’ll leave me be
But i know her games

I see her lurking in the corners
I see her darkness underneath the cracks
She’s still her, just waiting to attack