A is for Ally?

The acronym for the Queer community, is forever changing. Some people like to use LGBT, because that’s what it’s been for a long time, while others use LGBTQ+, since queer encompasses the whole community, and the plus sign makes up for any letters left out. The longest one that I’ve seen (that is widely used) is LGBTQIAP, standing for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, and pan/polysexual.

asexual

That’s a mouthful! I typically use LGBTQ+ since it encompasses everyone without being ridiculously long. One issue I’ve seen queer people argue over is what the “a” stands for. Some argue it should be for ally, others chime in with, “don’t forget about asexuals,” and then there are people who think it should stand for both words.

I don’t consider the “a” to stand for ally at all, because they aren’t queer. Allies are great, and incredibly helpful at helping Queer people get their voices heard, but they already have straight/cis privilege, so why should they be considered LGBT? If allies who are straight and cis are considered LGBT, then you’re saying everyone but homophobes are part of the community, and I don’t think that’s true.

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Being asexual carries a lot of stigm, but since I am not asexual I do not feel comfortable speaking for the community. Asexuals receive hate, and prodding questions, just like everyone else in the queer community, so why shouldn’t they be included? I’m not trying to be the “identity police,” but I think that members of the  queer community  should be just that, queer. I’d like to live in a society where we don’t erase others identities, and instead accept every gender identity and sexuality.

I’m thankful for allies, but I think they have their places as friends, family members, and acquaintances, but don’t need to be considered part of the community. The LGBTQ+ community bans together because we are all “different” from the majority in regards to sexuality and gender. Including people are straight and cis, in my opinion only discredits the whole point of establishing ourselves as a community. Being queer doesn’t make you any better/worse than a straight/cis person, but it does put a target on your back, and being in community with those who have similar experiences is important. If you’re straight and cis, use the space you take up in society to help those who’s voices aren’t as heard.  Let me know your thoughts on the acronym conundrum.

Lot of Love,

Alyssa

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9 thoughts on “A is for Ally?

  1. A shouldn’t stand for Ally, they aren’t part of the LGBTQ+ community, that’s why they’re called “allies”. I don’t think a non queer person should be part of the acronym that stands for the queer community. This is a great topic and a great read.

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  2. I’ve heard people say that the A stands for both Asexual and Ally but I can see why the latter doesn’t necessarily need to be included. I found the full acronym once, but I think I deleted the draft that it was in by accident 😦
    Within that acronym their was an S that stood for straight (and something else I believe) and I got into a debate with someone who said that “straight” shouldn’t be included at all. I disagreed because someone within the community could be trans and straight right? Thoughts on that?

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    1. You can definitely be trans and straight. I personally would consider their gender as part of the LGBT community but not their sexuality. There is a certain privilege with being straight – no matter your gender. I would say straight probably shouldn’t be included but I can see why people would argue for that. I would think that trans people wouldn’t want “straight” in the acronym because it sounds to me like it implies that their heterosexuality is different from a cis persons. But I’m not trans so I can’t speak for them. What do you think?

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      1. I totally understand the privilege part for sure, I just didn’t think its fair that they were excluded because it is still a part of their identity. Like I agree that if you’re straight and cis then no you’re not included, but I still think it affects how you view the world and your experiences you know? Because a trans woman who is straight will have different experiences from a trans woman who’s bisexual so I feel like it can’t be dismissed completely. Does that make sense? I see what you mean about their sexuality sounding different from a cis person but I meant in relation to other trans people. That’s a good point (I didn’t think about that cause I was already not including straight/cis people) but I can see how that may be interpreted differtently
        But I also am not trans so I can’t say for sure how they would feel about it.

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        1. I definitely see the point of a trans woman’s experience being straight or any other sexuality is going to be different from others experiences. I guess maybe straight should be included, but with an asterisk haha

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